Helping an employee move through grief

Employers are often put in a difficult position when trying to accommodate the needs of a grieving employee. On the one hand, they want to be compassionate, caring, and kind but on the other, they have a job to do, a product to produce, or service to provide. And, the performances of the employees are often essential in accomplishing their goals. Deadlines have to be met, budgets have to be adhered to, and the morale and well-being of other employees must be considered. Knowing how to help the employee suffering from loss move through the grieving process can make things less difficult for them and you. Following are some suggestions for the employer:

• Familiarize or review your knowledge of grieving. There are stages that many individuals go through including disbelief, shock, numbness, bargaining, anger, depression, and finally resolution. These elements of grief do not always follow the same pattern with each individual, and, in fact, vary to a large degree from person to person in terms of both their expressions of grief and the time frame during which the grieving process takes place. Remember that a divorce, death in the family, financial loss, or other significant changes can produce a grief response. Denying the need and ability to grieve is very unhealthy and can produce significant long term psychological problems. “Pulling one’s self up by the boot straps and getting back to work” is not the preferred response to the grieving employee.

• Let the employee know that you care, are concerned, and want to be of assistance but, at the same time that you do not want to be intrusive and meddlesome. Try to be especially sensitive to the employee’s changes in moods and need for extra time and assistance.

• Make the employee aware of any benefits and leave available to them during this time of need. An employee assistance program often offers great help to the employee during this difficult time.

• Don’t let the employee endanger himself or others in work situations where impaired concentration, sleep deprivation, anxiety, and depression are present.

• Be available to the employee to talk about their emotions, thoughts, and feelings that they might be experiencing if, they indicate a desire to do so. However, don’t try to be a counselor but instead be a caring listener and a possible resource to refer them for professional assistance if requested or needed.

• Keep co-workers and fellow employees informed as to the status of the grieving employee when appropriate.

Other topics on psychology and the workplace will be dealt with in this column in the future.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1999