Look at stress through others’ eyes

Many of us go through periods where so many changes from so many directions come so rapidly that we question our ability to handle the stress.

Changes in our personal lives, world events, economic situations – all these factors increase our concern on how to keep control of our lives.

The fact is, most of us can handle much more than we think we can. Look at the daily stress experienced by world leaders. Consider those CEOs in management and decision-makers for corporations, universities and health care facilities. Look at your neighbor, who might be holding down several jobs and doing a credible job of rearing his family.

It is essential to not let changes overwhelm us and to not see ourselves in positions of helplessness and hopelessness. It is important to feel that we are “working out” of difficult situations and that we are always helpful of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

The following are some suggestions that I have found to be effective in helping individuals decrease their feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and being overwhelmed by stress.

• Increase your feelings of control be setting many short-term goals where probability of success is high. Focus on these successful completions and take life a day at a time during particularly stressful times.

• Maintain physical fitness. If you are not fit, get on an exercise program suitable for your age and health requirements. An increase in feelings of physical well-being can greatly enhance your feelings of optimism, accomplishment and the ability to cope with stress. Maintain a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep. Deviation from normal patterns of sleep and appetite can be a signal of emotional distress that needs medical attention. Seek help from your physician if these problems persist.

• Seek help from someone that can listen to your problems, help you keep a proper perspective on things.

• Stress and depression often cause individuals to focus on unnecessary, irrelevant, energy-draining details. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Work on increasing your tolerance for frustrating things.

• Seek the support and love of family, friends and professional colleagues. Stress and depression often make you overly sensitive to criticism, or cause you to perceive yourself as a failure. A normally healthy self-esteem can appear to be crumbling. Positive feedback is important.

• Accept change as a part of life. Embrace change as opportunity. Think about how often we have looked back at situations that seemed like disappointments, losses or even disasters at the time, only to see them later as blessings in disguise.

• Remember that unfortunate events often seem to come in bunches, as do successful and happy times. The old saying, “When you’re hot, you’re hot, and when you’re not, you’re not,” can provide some solace to those who work toward improvement and believe that they can regain a sense of control and balance in their lives.

Don’t give up.
Don’t believe you are a failure.
Don’t let life get you down.
Do have confidence that things can and will change.
You are the master of your own fate.

Copyright c 1990 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.