Re-think your thoughts for a happier you

A man with problems who can smile has found someone else to blame his problems on.

This fortune cookie can be altered and expanded to provide a useful technique for helping individuals deal with discouragement, disappointment and perceived misfortune.

One of the most common and frequently committed errors in thinking occurs when individuals fail to consider alternative or multiple explanations for situation to prove to be less than satisfactory for them.

Take John, for example, and Harry, his boss. On John’s voice mail was this message from Harry. “I need to talk to you right away. We have a big problem in your division. Somebody’s head is gonna roll.”

Immediately frozen into immobility, John assumes he is responsible for the problem. He panics, calls for his subordinates, interrogates them, and causes them severe discomfort.

As it turns out, the problem Harry was talking about occurred in another division and the potential beheading was certainly not planned for John.

Why did John jump to the defensive?

Because his self-esteem is so impaired he is insecure and needs constant reassurance that his performance is satisfactory. Without this reassurance, he automatically ascribes potentially negative outcomes to himself.

John must learn to step back, consider alternatives and get the whole picture, thereby reducing his stress level.

Look at Jane. A phone call from her child’s school gives her the information that they child is sick and needs to be picked up immediately.

Instead of asking for the nature of the child’s difficulties, she jumps to the conclusion that the child is seriously ill.

Slamming down the phone, she races off, creating anxiety for her co-workers and others with whom she comes into contact.

She has assumed a catastrophe.

Jane’s tendency to jump to disastrous conclusions is a lifelong tendency acquired from and shared by her mother.

She is mentally predisposed to believe in negative outcomes with no justification in the vast majority of situations.

Her irrational, illogical way of viewing the world is a reflection not only of her way of looking at life, but also the way she sees herself.

Correcting and refuting this unproductive thinking can be done by vigorously and systematically catching yourself in the early stages of the chain of erroneous thoughts.

Then, by interrupting the fallacious portions of the thought processes and reinserting more appropriate and realistic alternatives, one can begin to look at life in a more healthy way.

Correcting faulty thinking can unburden an individual from a great deal of stressful, unproductive and time-consuming difficulties.

Without faulty thinking, life can be much more productive, healthy and certainly more enjoyable.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1993