Survivor Guilt

Dear Dr. LeCrone:
The first anniversary of the Katrina disaster has passed, but I continue to feel a lot of guilt because I suffered very little in comparison to many other people who lived the path of the hurricane. Being around those who have lost so much is really producing emotional difficulties for me. Can you please make some helpful suggestions?

-A reader in Mississippi

Dear reader:
Those who survive a tragedy or a loss sometimes experience guilt, stress, anxiety, and depression. Survivors of automobile accidents, plane crashes, combat situations, and natural disasters may wonder why their lives and homes were saved while their neighbors experienced great loss, including the loss of loved ones.
With feelings of emptiness and despair, they ask questions like these: Why did I deserve to live while he had to die? Why didn’t I suffer? If I survived this time, what is around the corner for me? How can I be happy when I see so much grief and sadness? Did I in any way contribute to this situation? Could I have done anything to prevent the tragedy? How can I enjoy my accomplishments in the face of others’ loss?

The following is some advice on dealing with survivor guilt and stress:

-Survivors need to remember that their feelings of stress and guilt are shared by others who are survivors. Talking about these feelings is often helpful in dealing with the issues surrounding the tragedy, including losses and survivorship.
-Survivors sometimes isolate themselves while suffering from feelings of shame, embarrassment, anxiety and depression. Strong support during this period of potential isolation is important.
Group support is often helpful and individual counseling may be necessary to deal with troubling emotions, thoughts and feelings. Helping the sufferer understand that he or she is not responsible for the tragedy and consequences sometimes takes a lot of time and assistance.
-Grieve for those who suffered loss but refrain from accepting blame. Ownership of blame is often beyond the control of any human being. When possible, helping survivors put their lives back together can be of great assistance in dealing with one’s own survivor guilt and stress.

Time and a calm, familiar routine are additional factors that may help the survivors restore healthy feelings and emotions.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 2006