Undivided Attention- Part II

Last week, I began a discussion of the value of undivided attention, that is, the conscious act of listening to those around us. Whether in the workplace or in the home, inattention can lead to strained interpersonal relationships and sends a signal to others that listening simply isn’t a priority. Active listening involves more than just hearing, it means that we as the listener are in tune to someone else’s feelings, thoughts, and words. Listening with attention involves thinking not only about the words spoken but also involves interpreting and responding to what is being said.

In our society, “multitasking” is a catch phrase that has become a way of life for many people. Individuals in the workplace find ways to simultaneously email, fax, answer phone calls, and meet with clients. Parents discover ways to carpool, use the cell phone, and help with last minute homework, often all at the same time. The downside to multitasking is that attention to an individual’s spoken and unspoken needs are often lost in the process of juggling everything on the “to do list.”

Giving another person undivided attention involves thinking, perceiving, and discerning what is being said. The speaker’s nonverbal communication such as arm gestures, eye contact, and bodily stance is important to pay attention to. A listener’s nonverbal communication is equally important in that body language can convey whether or not a listener is truly listening. Maintaining eye contact and nodding empathetically are skills for good listening and show that attention is being given to the person talking.

Good listening involves less “advice giving” than individuals often believe. Many times a person that is talking is not looking for comments or feedback, but rather s/he is hoping for a patient and open ear. Avoid talking about yourself or reverting the conversation back to your own life as this does not demonstrate undivided attention to the person talking to you.

Good listening skills are often something that are learned and practiced. In a world of global technology, high speed internet, and a demand for productivity, consider the human aspect of communication. Remember that it is with attention and consciousness that we can truly reach those around us both at work and at home. Consider giving those around you your undivided attention and discover the power of meaningful personal and professional relationships.