Waiting Room Humor

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

I have a chronic illness, which makes it necessary for me to visit my doctor frequently. Over the years I have noted a variety of patient behavior in the waiting room and would like to share these experiences with you.
If doctors knew what sorts of conversations take place in their waiting rooms, they would probably keep people waiting for shorter periods of time.

The wannabe doctors: These individuals give “medical” lectures to anyone who will listen to them in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. They love to explain complicated, rare conditions and then launch into their own expert opinions on how to handle these difficult conditions.

The nosey type: They want to know why you are seeing your doctor and will go to great extremes to pry into your medical history. If you divulge your condition they often make unwanted comments such as: “I’ve known people that have died from your problem” or “Is your problem contagious, and should I be sitting somewhere else?”
Needless to say, it often arouses anxiety in those patients waiting to be seen for their own ailments.

The social register: These folks love to give everyone in the waiting room a briefing of his or her doctor’s current social standing in the community. This information may be incorrect and gained by rumors and hearsay. It also is often intended to make it appear that the doctor is one of the speaker’s best friends.

The hypochondriac: Listening to the detailed medical history of the hypochondriac is often a lot more information than anyone wants to hear. These people claim to have suffered from every disease in the book and dearly love to go to the doctor. They are often heard making such statements as: “My doctor said that I have, or had, the worst case of shingles, flu, migraine headaches, etc., that he or she has ever treated.”

I am sure your readers have their own observation of waiting room talkers and the variety of information they give. It is a culture of its own and I hope you can print my e-mail.

-A reader in Texas

Dear reader:

Thanks for your e-mail. You have made an interesting study of human nature in a unique

setting. Waiting room scenes are sometimes seen in T.V. sitcoms and can be pretty funny at times.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 2007