Adversity Changes Priorities

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

My husband and I have three teenage children who have experienced nothing but affluence, abundance and monetary freedom that has resulted in little or no financial restraint in their lifetimes.

The current economic downturn has negatively impacted our income, necessitating an immediate change in our budget. When we explained the impact of these cutbacks on our children¡¦s lives, we received mostly negative responses. Although willing to turn off some lights, delete a few cable channels or eat out less often, they rebelled at the idea of spending less on clothing, cell phones and auto expenses.

This whole tsunami of financial change has been a wake-up call for me and my husband. We now realize how overindulgent and materially focused we have been with our children.

We have read your past columns on turning adversity into blessings and see this current hardship as a beneficial way to help our children learn a new set of values that they may never have otherwise gained.

Our family is now spending time together learning to solve problems in a creative manner. Instead of five of us driving and maintaining four cars, we now share three vehicles and make car pools and errands a team effort.

All three children now have part-time jobs and pay for a large part of their own non-essential expenses.

The whole family takes part in meal planning and preparation with careful scrutiny being given to cost of food and reduction of waste.

Shopping for bargains has become a family routine, and extravagance which was once a way of life for all of us, is now frowned upon and summarily rejected.

It is amazing how an esprit de corps has developed between us that was absent prior to the economic upheaval thrust upon us. Moving from a life based on our own needs and material things to a life based on each other and each other's needs could have only evolved in the throws of what appeared to be a tragedy.

I hope that this account of pluses gained in the face of apparent loss will help others not only survive but also become stronger if they are faced with similar hardships.

-A reader in Ohio

Dear Reader:

Thank you for sharing your experience. The wisdom in your words in certainly appropriate at this point in our country's history.