The Mind Games Of Defense Mechanisms
Dear Dr. LeCrone:
My sister regularly practices amateur psychology on her friends and family, and she claims that I am over using my defense mechanisms. I’m not about to give her the satisfaction of asking her what she means. Can you please tell me what she may be accusing me of or is she just making up psychobabble?
-A reader in New York
Dear Reader:
Obviously, I can’t be sure without asking her, but my best guess follows:
Defense mechanisms are strategies or manners in which we behave or think to protect or “defend” ourselves from painful thoughts or feelings.
We all use them periodically in an attempt to deal with the world around us. Utilizing these defenses appropriately can be useful and helpful. However, all too often, their usefulness is extended beyond the boundaries of good mental health.
Let’s look at three of these defense mechanisms in their more unhealthy forms:
• Rationalization is a defense mechanism that involves explaining an unacceptable behavior or feeling in a rational or logical manner that avoids the true explanation for the behavior.
Making excuses to justify behavior includes such examples as “My children behave the way they do because this is the standard that society now promotes and accepts”; “I don’t exercise because doing so is not possible with my busy schedule, and I am always so sore the next day I can’t get out of bed.”; and “I have fallen in love with another person because I never really loved my husband.”
• Denial is a commonly used defense mechanism that can lead to real problems. These include avoiding the truth, acknowledging only part of a bigger situation or leaving out important information.
Examples are “Just because I am overdrawn at the bank and over my credit limit on credit cards doesn’t mean I can’t manage my money”; and “I haven’t been depressed all of these years; my moods are simply a reflection of my situation.”
• Intellectualization is used in an attempt to avoid reality and psychological pain by taking a very abstract view of the situation: “My problems are so complex that only Einstein’s theory of relativity can explain them”; or “I deal with my problems by studying the lives of successful individuals and how they deal with their problems.”
I hope this discussion helps you. If readers find this information useful, please tell me and I will discuss other defense mechanisms in future columns.
