Are you able to relate to any of the following scenarios?
• Dr. Smith’s receptionist has given a patient information about Dr. Smith’s next available appointment. The patient’s response follows: “I am sick and tired and can’t come at that time. I need an appointment much sooner.” To this the receptionist responds that this is Dr. Smith’s earliest available appointment. The caller then goes into a verbal tirade accusing Dr. Smith and his receptionist of not caring and treating the caller unfairly, and then demands to talk to Dr. Smith personally.
• A customer brings in an article of merchandise purchased several months before and demands a replacement. The store owner explains that a receipt giving proof and date of purchase must accompany the damaged merchandise. The customer then becomes irate stating “I don’t give a &*#% what you need; I don’t have a receipt and if you don’t exchange this merchandise for a new one or give me my money back right now, I am going to turn you into the Better Business Bureau and ruin your name in this town.”
• Shortly after sending home report cards, a school teacher receives a call from a verbally abusive parent which goes something like this: “Johnny brought home his report card with an F in math and I want this changed tomorrow. Johnny has been doing his homework regularly and he has never made an F before in his life. If you were a better teacher, you would know that an F for Johnny is impossible. If this isn’t changed immediately, I am going to report you to the principal and the school board.”
Dealing with individuals described in the above mentioned hypothetical situations can be not only difficult, but potentially stressful.
Being on the receiving end of aggressive, intimidating, abusive and even threatening messages can, over a prolonged period of time, produce a backlash of anger, frustration, depression, apathy and extreme fatigue in the receiver of this abuse. Even the most patient, understanding and loving individual in the world has limits on how much verbal abuse and harassment he can tolerate.
Methods of dealing with those difficult people can include:
• Doing nothing and suffering the consequences of stress.
• Trying to change the sender of the verbal abuse by “giving them a dose of their own medicine.”
• Removing yourself from the stress by quitting the job.
• Utilizing psychological strategies to change the receiver’s response to the difficult person.
Copyright c 1998 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.
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