Dealing with a Difficult Boss

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

I am dealing with a difficult boss and need some ideas on how to keep my job without losing my mind. I sometimes wonder if I’m being made the scapegoat for her unhappiness with life in general. I also wonder if she is a control freak?

Dear Reader: some of the following suggestions might be helpful:

Talk to other people within the organization about your boss’s behavior. If their impressions are similar to yours, then you can be fairly certain that you are not being singled out. You may also learn some ways that others handle her bad behavior.

Has your boss suddenly changed her behavior from reasonable and effective to unpleasant and ineffective? If so, perhaps some difficulty in his or her life has precipitated this change. This might provide some clues as to the prognosis for remaining difficult vs. returning to healthy supervision.

Perhaps discussing your concerns with your boss might be helpful. Pick the least distracting time during the work day for a conference. Make your approach in an unemotional, professional manner and be prepared to listen to her response with an open mind. Many people fear this approach, but it is often useful and not usually grounds for termination if done correctly. Be sure to depersonalize your own complaints, don’t accuse her of personal flaws but instead speak to specific behaviors related to the job itself. Go over your approach with someone skilled at critiquing such interactions prior to your meeting with her.

Try to do some things your boss’s way without second-guessing her. Perhaps her method would work and you really haven’t given it a try. Maybe her way of “skinning the cat” is different from yours but in the long run, just as effective. Control freaks can be employee’s as well as supervisors.

If these strategies don’t work, consider talking to her supervisor. This can be risky but, as a last resort, it might help clear the air and find assistance for you. This may be necessary in cases where the boss’s behavior crosses the line and produces a hostile work environment. Be sure to document your complaints and provide corroborative witnesses if possible.

Consider professional counseling regarding the situation. This confidential relationship will allow you to examine the relevant facts more objectively and perhaps help you devise strategies to deal with a difficult boss in spite of her ineffectiveness.


Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 2005