Broken wrists forces dependence on others for aid

Recently, I had an experience which produced some very interesting psychological reactions that I would like to share with my readers.

With all the jobs about psychologists, their perceptions and reactions to the world, I thought my readers might be interested in my experience, as many facets of human behavior experienced by most of us from time to time are brought to mind.

The saga began one Friday afternoon during the early part of summer when I was told that the roof of my home had a big hole in it. A roofing inspector admonished me to be sure and cover up the hole because a sudden rainstorm might produce a catastrophic result in the underlying structure.

As you might suspect, it began raining the very next morning. There were two reasons why the rain was not welcome. For one, the timing was wrong. My wife and I were leaving at noon for a weekend in Dallas so there was no time to call a workman to repair the roof. Secondly, I am by choice not much of a “fix-it man” around the house. The task required someone to climb a ladder, but there was no one around to climb it or to support the base of it.

By now the rain was pouring down so I placed the ladder in what I thought was a steady position and prepared to climb. All went well until I started down the ladder. One the second rung from the top, I found myself weaving back and forth in a scene reminiscent of a Laurel and Hardy movie. My arms flailed in the air fruitlessly for support, and as the ladder went out from underneath me I hit the ground with a thud, landing on my left wrist.

At the hospital, my good friend and colleague, Dr. Gary Becker, put my fractured left wrist in a cast.

During the first week or so the pain was fairly intense; so, the annoyance of the cast was superseded by the experience of pain. Also, during this time my left arm was almost useless. And I became acutely aware that I was unable to perform even the most perfunctory tasks, such as putting on my socks, my belt, or my tie. I made mental notes that I had certainly taken for granted the standard equipment that most of us are born with. It was at this point, I think, that the self-study began.

Although I was able to enlist members of my family in some rather novel ways during this period, I became aware that I was reticent about accepting too much assistance. My 5-year-old daughter found that helping me put on my belt each morning was a ritual that gave her a new responsibility and a feeling of importance in the family circle. One morning she even announced that we no longer had to help her dress, but that she was ready to help me.

My teen-age boys who have barely learned to tie their own ties gave a wholehearted effort to tie mine. Still the perfectionist that I am, made the effort hard for me to accept. The crowning blow came when my wife had to tie my shoes. At that point I decided that I would be in loafers for a while. My second mental note, and by now a mental resolve to make a case study of my reactions, was that we who have a high need for controlling our lives and are used to being in charge of things find that it is difficult to let others assist us.

Next week we will look at some of my reactions and observations and find some conclusions to my saga of the broken wrist.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985