Ladder accident forces careful introspection

Last week I shared some of my reactions and behaviors after I fell and broke my wrist. After becoming aware that I was unable to perform simply daily tasks, I also became aware that I resisted help.

My need for control and for being in charge made me resist the efforts of others to help me. But as time moved on, I actually began to enjoy letting those around me that I love assist me in some of the more basic skills necessary to carry on daily activities.

I began to appreciate the handicapped individual’s plight – the daily frustrations encountered when one becomes handicapped and has to give up a routine once effortlessly and thoughtlessly performed.

I thought of how many times in the past 20 years I had stood by the hospital bed of a patient in a full body cast and only briefly considered that patient’s feelings of his temporary entombment.

The next psychological phenomenon that I experienced in conjunction with Dr. Gary Becker’s cast was that of my own suggestibility.

It was uncanny, but the minute someone asked if I experienced much of an itching sensation, my response was immediate and persisting itching. I had been admonished not to scratch or attempt to relieve the agonizing sensation with the use of coat hangers, eating utensils or any other instrument for fear of puncturing the skin and possibly causing something s severe as gangrene.

Many of us are open to suggestion and this seems to correlate with creativity and artistic talent. I found creativity creeping in whenever anyone asked, “How did it happen?” My mind would immediately begin weaving an interesting tale for afield from falling off a ladder.

I resisted this, however, knowing that rumors have a way of getting started with this sort of activity. By and large I stuck to the facts, however boring and redundant they were.

Fortunately, I didn’t lose my sense of humor because the worst moment occurred when I found that the zipper on my pants was stuck. I was late for an important hospital meeting. Although it was a cloudless day, I considered how plausible it would be to fabricate a story about why I was wearing a trench coat in the middle of summer. Fortunately for me, the zipper finally cooperated and I made my meeting at the hospital.

I was keenly aware of the number of people who had genuine concern for my plight. My professional associates, relatives and friends rallied forth and made efforts to assist. Reiterating again my need for self-sufficiency and control, I have always tended to steer away from reliance on anyone. But the accident helped me regain a perspective of the need to share in my existence; not only to be a giver of help, but to be a receiver, as well.

The last significant lesson was that I learned to adapt in a relatively short period of time. Not being able to do things in the efficient, rapid manner that I was used to simply drove me to the brink of anxiety. I think I experienced some of the panic disorder a long-term hospitalized patient feels during the early phase of “confinement.”

By far, the most interesting point to me was how the human mind and body are able to accommodate to new situations and develop skills in order to simply go on living. T he introspective study spent in conjunction with this experience will hopefully aid me in my own professional endeavors.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1985