Deal with change by going with the flow

My experience as a psychologist has shown me that resistance to change is one of the biggest problems facing us today.

Our world is in a rapid state of change due to many factors, and we need to be aware of our need for accepting change.

We all have difficulty with change at various times and at various life transitions. In and of itself resistance to change is not a sign of mental illness.

If your life is going smoothly and you are experiencing healthy growth and happiness, then you simply may not want to rock the boat.

But understanding why we have difficulty in accepting change can be the first step in learning to adapt more effectively to the world around us. This understanding can help us cope with the inevitable changes that life brings.

As I have pointed out, how people react to change and the defenses they put up to resist it depends on their individual perspective. This perspective is derived, to a large degree, from the individual’s personality type.

The common characteristic that trips us all personality types is a difficulty in seeing change as an opportunity or challenge. Instead, it is seen as a threat.

There are many combinations and variations of personality types that cause people to resist change, but I have talked about six types:

Those who fear the unknown- the bottom line is, “How is this change going to affect me?”

Those who fear the loss of control- “Will I have to completely re-do my plans?”

The oppositional- “I want to be the one who sets the limits of my behavior and my cooperation with others.”

The overwhelmed- “I am already in such a state of flux I can’t handle anything else.”

The unmotivated- “I am content with the status quo. Why should I try to do better?”

The tunnel visioned- “I know how to do this. There couldn’t be a better, easier or more efficient way.”

Having to live or work with a change-resistant type can present numerous problems.

Change is part of life and the growth process. Change is inevitable in the process between birth and death for each of us. We can fight change and be miserable, or adapt to it and enjoy life’s new adventures.

Those having flexibility can reap great rewards.

Those digging in the heels often suffer from psychological and physical distress.

All personality types discussed need help with self-esteem, which may be fragile or wounded for various reasons.

All need to rid their thoughts of perceived threats, fear of failure.

All need to learn optimism, embracing the idea of self-enhancement and self-actualization.

All need to associate with successful risk-takers.

It is important to work to help our partners, spouses, friends and colleagues see change as an opportunity to expand their horizons, to adapt and be more flexible.

Viewing change in this way will help them move through life with greater comfort and joy.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1993