Dealing With The Grief Of Job Loss

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

I would like to share my story of finding hope in the face of seemingly insurmountable grief and loss.

My grief came as a result of losing my job when the company I worked for recently went bankrupt. I felt that being 50 years old and having only a high school education would make the prospect of finding a job rather bleak.

Healing began when I attended a Christmas Eve service where the minister gave the following quote: “All grief comes from one thing: Something ends before we are ready for it to end.”

At this point, my grief began to lessen as I realized that I was not ready for my job to end and accept the need to change. Furthermore, I had no control over the company closure, and I readily admit to being a person who erroneously equates any loss of control with weakness, poor planning and personal failure.

Another part of my story goes back to an earlier time in my life when I battled alcoholism, and I was able to gain and maintain sobriety through the help of Alcoholics Anonymous.

People familiar with this life-saving program know of the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

Remembering these powerful words helped me accept the fact that I did not cause nor did I have any control over the company’s failure. At this point, I begin thinking about things I could change.

Changing my attitude was the first step. I have successfully dealt with major obstacles before, including staying in recovery for many years.

My negative assumptions about finding another job needed re-evaluation. Although I don’t have a lot of formal education, “book smarts” are not always what an employer is looking for. Perhaps my skills would enable me to be self- employed. Recessions don’t last forever. Aggressively and steadfastly networking with friends, family and the Internet can eventually yield positive results. Learning a new skill is possible. Also, drawing unemployment benefits is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of.

As you can see, I am feel optimistic about moving forward and hope my experience will help someone else.

-A reader in Ohio

Dear Reader:

Thanks for your timely message. I would encourage other readers to share their experiences with me.