Discussing the Birds and the Bees
Dear Dr. LeCrone:
My child is going to start school next year and I am trying to think ahead about what he needs to know for one of his first big leaps into the real world. I am going to talk to him about safety in situations like the school bus, how to reach me in case of an emergency, how to respond to bully’s, etc. I wonder if this is also a good time to begin discussing “the facts of life” to him. My mother says that he is much too young to talk about the birds and the bees but I have been told by friends that parents talking to children about human sexuality should start early in the child life. Could you please address this topic in your newspaper column?
Dear Reader:
I agree with your friends. Talking to children about human sexuality should begin early in the child’s life and continue throughout childhood and Adolescence. Some parents believe that bringing up the topic of sex too early in the child’s life is simply opening up Pandora’s box, arousing the child’s curiosity and thus encouraging their child to become sexually precocious and begin experimenting with sex at a early age. Other parents are simply too embarrassed and uncomfortable with the topic themselves and avoid bring up
“big topic” believe that the child will learn all he or she needs to know from friends and school. Other parents believe that waiting until the child begins to ask questions is the best approach is sex education with their children.
Information about human growth and development, the life cycle, and human sexuality can be presented in ways that are appropriate for the various stages of psychological growth and understanding of a child and adolescent. These biological and psychological facts will contribute to good physical and mental health.
Similar to studies showing that discussing alcohol and drug abuse with a child can reduce the risk of substance abuse, talking about sex with children and adolescence lessen the likelihood of them engaging in high–risk sexual behavior. Keeping silent on these subjects is simply encouraging the child to get their information elsewhere, accurate or inaccurate, healthy or unhealthy in nature.
Parents should be prepared to answer a child’s specific questions about sexuality in an honest and direct manner. Beating around the bush, or hinting at explanations can led the child to erroneous beliefs and perhaps make the child reluctant to ask further questions.
Discussing friendships, relationships, and the child’s feelings about all areas of his social life can led into discussions of intimacy, dating, peer pressure, etc. As the child matures, the conversations will often contain material related to sexuality.
