Embarrassment can haunt us in our dreams

An interesting area of study within psychology pertains to the so called “self-conscious emotions”. Embarrassment is often labeled “self-conscious” because an individual’s understanding and evaluation of the self is fundamental to this emotion.

Hardly an individual alive has not been embarrassed at some time or another. Embarrassment even creeps into our dreams, often taking the form of unlikely or absurd nocturnal fantasies.

Have you ever dreamed of walking into a room filled with people and realized you had no clothes on? Or dreamed you were sitting in a classroom where an examination was about to begin, and you realized you hadn’t been to that class for the whole semester?

With my wife’s permission, let me share an experience in which she was guest of honor at her birthday party. After blowing out the candles on her cake, she was expected to make a few statements to the large group of people surrounding her. While the happy birthday song was being sung to her, she had glanced into a mirror and discovered to her dismay that a piece of spinach from the dinner salad had lodged between her teeth producing a rather prominent and easily discernible piece of foliage when she smiled.

She later told of how she had tried in vain to dislodge the spinach with her tongue. When that failed, she tried puckering her mouth to vacuum the offender and, after no success she considered covering her mouth with her hand to extract it. At the end of the song she elected to smile with her mouth closed, nod and say nothing. She still maintains this was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.

Often, the best way to rebound from embarrassment is simply to remain as cool as possible and let the moment pass. Most of the time other people won’t pay much attention to a faux pas unless we exaggerate the importance of the event.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2002