How parents can help underachievers

Is your child an underachiever? One approach to the problem is to view the kids who don't achieve as kids who put forth very little independent effort. Educators call these students "work inhibited." They are usually children who are friendly, obedient, and rarely disruptive. Most of them have average or above average ability. Most of them are boys.

From early childhood on they did not want to be separated from their parents. Now if a parent or even a teacher sits close by they will work and stay on task. When left alone, however, they refuse to work, procrastinate, and claim to have forgotten the assignment given.

This type of child needs more nurturing as their self-esteem is low. They are sensitive to criticism and are very much aware of their inadequacies.

Their non-work or refusal to work may be seen as a sign of rebellion which if not corrected will continue as the child grows into adulthood.

How can parents help?

• First of all, parents need to correctly diagnose the problem. The can use the school's testing and counseling services to rule out neuromuscular or cognitive disabilities. If these are not present, the work inhibited diagnosis may be considered. Check these behaviors: Did the child ever show signs of being self-sufficient, or was he or she always dependent upon the parent?

• Secondly, parents should not blame themselves, the school system or even the child. They should seek ways to promote independence and to recognize work inhibition as a problem that can be helped.

• Parents should show affection to the child that is not connected with accomplishment. Unconditional love is extremely important in these instances.

• Make sure the child understands that school is his or her job. Whether in the home or in school, stress that everyone has a job to do and that every job has its boundaries or limits. Children who try to whine and manipulate will try this behavior to get their way.

• Expect progress but don't expect it to happen overnight. Behaviors that have been working for a child for many years may take longer to change.

On homework assignments, children should have a definite amount of time set aside each day for home study. Consult with the teacher and set an appropriate time. As near as possible, homework should be done at the same time every day. But when schedules conflict the time should be flexible. After the child has spent the amount of time set aside for the home study, give them the independence to move on to other interests. Don't nag, don't ask too many questions about "how much did you do? Did you finish? Do you understand?" Just make sure the child understands that you are available for help, but that the homework is their work and that you are not going to sit with them while they do it.

In future columns I will write more about work inhibition and the underachieving child.

Copyright c 1993 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D