How To Be A Good Guest

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

I have experienced another effect of the troubled economy and high cost of gasoline.

I live in a popular tourist location that is a fairly close drive for my visitors, and so I have houseguests crawling all over me wanting to take a cheaper vacation.

I enjoy having guests in my home, but the behavior of some of the three groups of family and friends so far this summer has been a little overwhelming. My hospitality has been wearing thin and I am feeling the stress of hosting guests who often don’t know or care about the etiquette of being good guests.

I thought that perhaps you could pass on some of my suggestions for host/guest relationships.

Guests should not overstay their welcome. Short stays (two to three days) are much better. The old saying about “knowing when you have chewed the sweet out of the gum” really applies here. A good rule of thumb is for guests to leave while everybody is still having fun.

Guests need to be very flexible and not expect the amenities of an expensive resort. The size of the beds, the room temperature, the food and the TV remote control are at the discretion of the host. If guests find the accommodations distasteful, then tactfully let the host know but be prepared to move to another location if changes can’t be made.

Guests should not be freeloaders. Bring some beverages and food to the host home. Offer to take the host out to a nice lunch or dinner. Don’t expect the host to pay for guest tickets or fees for entertainment while visiting local attractions together. Offer to prepare and clean up after meals, make beds, and keep bedrooms tidy and straight.

Guests should respect the privacy and routine of the host. Don’t expect your host to entertain you every waking moment. Bring some books to read, plan to go sightseeing on your own if your host has other plans and don’t stay up late and keep the TV volume loud if your host wants to go to bed.

Guests should not bring their bad and annoying habits into the host’s home. Avoid smoking, foul language, fussing, and fighting between family members.

I hope these suggestions will help people be better guests.

-A reader in California

Dear Reader: Thanks for the suggestions. You have touched on another casualty of social etiquette in our society.