Learn to turn negatives into positives

Faulty thinking resulting from illogical, irrational assumptions leads many individuals to perceive themselves in a negative, self-depreciating manner.

Such people frequently tend to put themselves down, judging themselves down, judging themselves in a harsh uncomplimentary way. Their ability to handle criticism is limited, and in fact, they erroneously interpret much of the feedback given to them as criticism, thus making them miserable.

Even compliments are difficult for them to accept, as they are convinced of their limited value.

One of their greatest handicaps is the tendency to personalize negative events, falsely assuming they are at fault and the cause of unfavorable outcomes. This stereotyped thinking can be changed by practicing some of the following methods:

• “Step back” from personal involvement long enough to consider alternative explanations. Stop jumping to conclusions that are no valid or warranted. Write down possible explanations for a given event and look at them in black and white. Practice applying logic and reason before assuming faulty conclusions.

• Enlist the support of other people to help you see things more objectively. A friend, relative, or support group designed to assist those needing help in learning to “think straight” are often helpful. Many self-improvement courses incorporate behavioral techniques designed to help individuals perceive the world around them in a more logical, rational manner.

• Practice being more assertive and speaking up for yourself when appropriate and necessary. Many individuals let themselves be “put down” because they are reluctant to call attention to inequalities that involve them. There are many self-help books available on the topic of becoming more assertive.

Another useful technique in building self-confidence and decreasing negative thought patterns is visualization. Examples of using visualization follow:

• Find a comfortable quite place. Close your eyes and vividly imagine yourself in a situation that has a positive outcome. You may imagine yourself in front of people making a presentation. Do this over and over until you feel more uncomfortable.

• Picture yourself conversing with someone who previously intimidated you and made you feel uncomfortable. Mentally rehearse a positive interaction, one in which you remain calm, presenting you views in a confident, forthright manner, and responding in a clear, concise, self-confident way.

When you are fault or have made a mistake, it is important to consider the various options needed to rectify the error. Select the best alternatives using the best judgment you can. Then put your plan into action and move ahead.

Don’t ruminate and keep going over the whys and what-ifs too long. Vow to learn from the experience, but do not assume the mistake labels you as a failure or as one bound to commit the same error in the future.

Remember that our personal perceptions of who we are can be modified with practice and patience. Don’t ever label yourself as someone who can’t be different.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1993