Living On The Outside And Always Looking In
Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD) is a tragic and often disabling disorder. People suffering from APD become anxious in situations where they have to carry out duties in a group situation. For example, fear of criticism, disapproval, or rejection makes organizational teamwork difficult for them.
Also, new interpersonal situations often lead these individuals to experience discomfort and have strong feelings of inadequacy. Although viewed by peers and coworkers as attractive and competent, people with APD feel socially inept and often have low self-esteem which results in withdrawal from other people. They perceive themselves as inferior to others and are very unsure of their identity and self-worth.
Suffers of APD tend to avoid entering into new situations or trying new things that might contain elements of risk. Closeness and intimacy in social relationships are rare and temporary due to fear or being shamed or ridiculed. Finally, people with APD feel the need for some kind of assurance that they will be accepted and liked by everyone in new situations. Without this assurance, they prefer to be alone and out of the scrutiny of others.
Individuals suffering from APD also feel as though they are always on the outside looking in. Their desire to be involved with other people is overridden by their feelings of being unacceptable and incapable outside of their own small world. This pattern of social inhibition produces feelings of inadequacy and hypersensitivity to criticism that controls almost every element of their lives.
Although suffering from self –isolation, those with APD often desire being socially connected but are unable to find the actions and words that make them comfortable and confident in attempting affiliation.
Fortunately, many types of therapy can help those with APD.
• Cognitive behavioral psychotherapy can assist individuals in examining faulty thinking patterns such as the assurance that they will be accepted and liked in all social situations or the belief that their performance is always under scrutiny.
• Behavioral therapy using techniques such as relaxation exercises and role playing can help reduce anxiety and the fear of social situations.
• Individual and group psychotherapy can boost the individual’s self-esteem and lead to confidence in relating to other people in a healthy manner.
• Medication can also be helpful in reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression that may be associated with APD.
Deciding to seek help is the first and sometimes the hardest part of recovery.
