Plan ahead to include elderly at family events
The thoughts of holidays often bring to mind special gifts for friends and relatives. We want to select something that will really please that person.
However, many of us dislike shopping. That makes gift-giving a difficult task unless we are lucky enough to know exactly what we want to give and can obtain the gift in a relatively easy way.
It seems our problem is we don’t like the process of shopping and the struggle with decisions about whether the gift will be the correct one, whether it will be the right color, a distinctive design, the correct size.
Let me suggest a special gift to your elderly family members and friends. This gift is an intergenerational family gathering. Elderly people are often left out of social activities for various reasons. Sometimes they are considered too frail and “fragile” and a fear develops that some harm may come to them if they are included in group activities.
Holiday gatherings for intergenerational family members and friends can be wonderful and memorable if careful preplanning is undertaken prior to the gathering. If elderly individuals are to be included in the holiday events, special planning can reduce stress and make things run more smoothly. Following are some potentially useful suggestions:
• Consider the physical and mental status of the elderly individual when planning the gathering. Those needing wheelchairs or walkers may have difficulties with multi-level floor plans and stairs. Hearing and vision impairments may require sound and lighting accommodations. Memory impairments such as are found in dementia and Alzheimer’s disease may present challenges to family members and guests. Explaining the elder family member’s physical and mental condition to children and teenagers prior to the gathering can be helpful as they may not understand some of the medical and psychological conditions of elderly people.
• Too many decorations, too much noise and too many people can create confusion for the elderly family member. Giving them an opportunity to observe and participate from the perimeter of a noisy and fast moving set of activities is often preferred to the center of a lot of commotion. Try to provide several areas where people can converse. This will allow for smaller, less confusing and more personal interactions.
• Elderly people often suffer from short term memory problems but retain vivid memories from the past. Old photo albums, time spent reminiscing about prior holiday seasons and, when possible, including guests near the age of the older person can be helpful.
• Don’t over extend the older persons involvement in holiday activities. Providing them an opportunity to rest between activities such as opening gifts, eating meals, singing carols, etc. is preferred to non stop activity for long periods. Try to make it easy for the elderly to request an opportunity to go to their room or a quiet place if they become fatigued or confused.
Making holidays intergenerational can provide wonderful experiences and memories for all. Preplanning and thoughtful consideration can reduce stress and make things go smoothly.
