Making Intergenerational Holidays Less Stressful
Dear Dr. LeCrone:
With the holiday season approaching, can you write a column on including older adults in family gatherings in a happy, healthy, less stressful way?
My parents both have physical infirmities and memory problems. They desperately want to be included in some of the family holiday events, but I know from past experience that problems can occur without proper consideration of their needs. Please give me some suggestions.
-A reader in Nevada
Dear Reader:
Holiday gatherings for intergenerational family members and friends can be wonderful and memorable if careful preplanning is undertaken before the gathering. Here are some potentially useful suggestions:
• Consider the physical and mental status of elderly individuals when planning the gathering. Those needing wheelchairs or walkers may have difficulties with multilevel floor plans and stairs. Hearing and vision impairments may require sound and lighting accommodations. Memory impairments, such as those found in Alzheimer’s disease, may present challenges to family members and guests.
Explaining the elder family member’s physical and mental conditions to children and teenagers prior to the gathering can be helpful, because they may not understand some of the medical and psychological conditions of elderly people.
• Too many decorations, too much noise and too many people can create confusion for these older members. Giving them an opportunity to observe and participate from the perimeter of a noisy and fast moving set of activities is often preferred to placing them in the center of the commotion.
Try to provide several areas where people can converse thus allowing for less confusing and more personal interactions.
• Make dietary accommodations for older people needing food and beverages that they can tolerate.
• Provide old photo albums, home movies and time spent reminiscing about prior holiday seasons to parents with short-term memory loss who still have vivid memories from the past.
• Don’t over extend the older adult’s involvement in holiday activities. Provide them an opportunity to rest between activities. Try to make it easy for the elderly to request a chance to go to their room or a quiet place if they become fatigued or confused.
I applaud you for thinking of your holiday gatherings from the viewpoint and needs of your parents. This consideration is often not given, and the consequences of not doing so can lead to confusion and unhappy and unhealthy experiences and memories.
