Holidays often lead to depression

The holiday season is a time when most people eagerly anticipate the chance to be with relatives and friends, to enjoy good food, exchange gifts and renew old acquaintances. Carols are intended to inspire happy and optimistic feelings along with “Good will to men.”

Children enjoy the mystery of Santa Claus and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Adolescents look forward to fun gatherings with peers, the opportunity to stay up late and the relief from school pressures.


Adults, however, can become so engrossed in sharing the excitement of Christmas with their children that they become exhausted, while older adults may feel lonely and sad. Even the music “’tis the season to be jolly’” produces a melancholy feeling.

Those who expend too much energy return to work fatigued and frequently depressed. Some have set such lofty expectations for holidays that the high build-up leads to a real let-down. Even the family that seems to have all the elements for a perfect Christmas and the economic means to provide the food, gifts and entertainment often experiences the Christmas blues.

Although the hustle and bustle creates a stressful time, planning ahead and structuring your life along certain sensible dimensions can establish a more normal pattern.

The following suggestions can be helpful:
• Everyone should avoid being alone. If family or relatives are not near, seek friends to share the days. If this is not possible, make the time meaningful and share it with an invalid or shut-in. Churches and social agencies can always provide names of individuals who need visitors.
• Over-indulgence in food and beverages leads to a weight gain which will make you feel angry and then feel depressed. Losing weight during the holidays is usually not an appropriate goal. However, trying not to gain weight should be something you should strive for.
• Keeping a balanced budget will reduce the chances of post-season depression. Paying for gifts as they are purchased will eliminate a mountain of bills that arrive at the beginning of the New Year. Try making a gift for someone, such as an art object, or gaily wrapping a basket of fruit. These gifts can be much more meaningful to the recipient.
• Plan a routine of work sharing if the home is to be filled with guests. Complete the shopping, decorating and baking as far in advance as possible. Space out prior activities in order to be well rested for the “main event.”
• After the guests arrive, make sure the children get plenty of rest. Plan a few “quiet time” activities. Too much excitement can lead to a cranky, irritable child.
• Have everyone pitch in and help the hostess with the dishes after meals and perform other necessary household duties. This lends stability to a large gathering.
• Expect some tension, but if a disagreement does break out, don’t let it ruin everything for the rest of the time together. Try to resolve the conflict, and then don’t dwell on it.
• Reminiscing over form holiday events can be fun, but too much emphasis on the past leads to feelings of days gone by that can’t be recaptured and often causes depression.
• With the festitivities at a close, think ahead for the immediate time after the last family member leaves. Put aside the feeling of being alone, and don’t worry about the empty house. Forget the necessity of immediately getting things back in order. Instead, call a friend for an afternoon of bridge, or leave the house and perform some good deed. A planned transition from gaiety to normalcy will avoid a let down feeling of loneliness.
• Go one step further. Set a new goal. Plan something for the New Year. It can be a trip, the beginning of a new job, some volunteer work, a hobby, or the preparing and planting of a spring garden. Continuing education classes through colleges and churches offer a wide variety of courses. Learn something new. Get involved and get busy.

Planning for activities during, as well as after, the holidays can provide much satisfaction and happy memories.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1984