Resilience: A Cornerstone of Positive Aging

Why do some older adults seem to not only survive when exposed to loss, disappointment, and negative events, but also to grow and develop from these experiences? They seem to possess what mental health professionals call psychological, emotional resiliency.

Here are examples of these attributes associated with emotional resilience:

* Resilient seniors are able to learn from unpleasant experiences. Instead of always feeling like the victim, they see life as a stream of both triumphs and tragedies that they learn to take in stride and move forward.

These older adults let their wisdom and experience help them maintain a flexible perspective on life. They possess the ability to accept that that more than one viewpoint may exist and don’t believe that everything is black or white, totally right or totally wrong, or that things have to be “my way or the highway.” These viewpoints frequently result in a stressful existence and diminish resilience.

* Resilient seniors are able to distinguish between the things they can change and the things they can’t. They are able to let go and relinquish the need for control. Holding on too long to something you can’t or don’t need to change gives rise to exhaustion, despair and depression.

* Aging adults who are resilient have developed and applied specific problem-solving skills. They are able to recognize what is important and set healthier priorities for themselves. Their goals match their capabilities, giving rise to feelings of satisfaction.

* Resilient seniors feel empathy and compassion toward others. They volunteer their time, give of their resources and provide emotional support to those less fortunate. They are tolerant of imperfections in those around them. They resist being easily annoyed or angered, and are able to depersonalize unpleasant feelings and behaviors directed toward them.

* Resilient seniors tend to manage their moods well, having learned during the years that unmanaged moods cause unhappiness and distress for themselves as well as others.

* Resilient seniors resist being overly dependent on others, but are willing to accept help when it’s needed. They continue to strive for independence, but recognize that with age, changes occur in their physical and mental conditions which may necessitate alteration in their lifestyles.

* Resilient older adults are able to see humor in the face of adversity, exhibit patience in the face of frustration, are optimistic, and have faith in a higher power.