Solitude can benefit individuals

Long before John Dunne wrote that no man is an island, society had ostracized solitude. In most preliterate societies, solitude was considered unnatural – fit only for witches or madmen.

Certainly there was a clear survival advantage in keeping close to one’s family group. In the jungle, a person who spent much time along had a greater chance of being hurt. Animals by instinct remained with their group until they were able to protect, hunt and fend for themselves. Banishment from the group meant death.

In many cultures, being alone was feared, not because of purely physical dangers, but because it was believed that a man who kept to himself was a sorcerer; a woman kept to herself was thought to be a witch.

As social systems developed, it was noted that solitude was a threat because a social system is held together by the values and habits of the group. When one pulls away, one tends to develop new ideas. It could easily be seen that too many withdrawals could destroy the group.

If man is not an island, then man does need interaction, a need as real as food and water. The pleasure that nearly everyone takes in the company of others makes them shun solitude and long to be a part of the group.

We can look at solitude in another way, however, and see why, through the ages in all cultures, individuals have withdrawn from their group to live by themselves. Apparently man has always recognized that solitude does have some advantages. One can think of a painter or a poet and think of one who withdrew to devote exclusive time to his or her talent.

In the world today, it is almost impossible to find true solitude, a total escape from the world. No matter where one goes, the media, fast food and laws and rules can usually be found, at least to a degree. As the world shrinks and the news from outer space and scenes from warring nations fill our living rooms, the need for solitude becomes a longing. To escape the telephone, to be alone and get in touch with our own feelings becomes a need.

Many creative and highly intellectual people find ways to be alone not only to unwind, but to rejuvenate. Perhaps that is why a surgeon may escape to the woods for some fly fishing, or a composer may leave his piano to hike and scale a mountain.

Parents of adolescents have often told me that they worried because their child seemed to be spending too much time to himself. And when I ask, how does he act when he joins the family group, the answer is usually, “Like his old self again.” Teenagers have many mood swings, and often find they need to be alone to think about their feelings.

Solitude can be described as painful or it can be described as a beneficial experience. Solitude, when self-induced, is therapeutic; when solitude is forced it results in loneliness and deprivation. We need time alone to reflect and in many instances to solve problems. Psychological states can improve after solitude. At the same time we need interaction of friends and family. Isolation, if not temporary and chosen, is painful. We live in an interdependent world.

Copyright c 1990 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.