Son’s ironing shows shifting roles

My oldest son, Adam, returned home during one of the early weeks in his freshman year of college and presented my wife and me with an unexpected statement.

“I need to learn to iron my own clothes,” he said.

He went on to say that living within the budget we had established left him little money. He wanted more elective funds, so he took inventory of his necessities. He found one area where he could save money was laundry expenses.

So my wife agreed to teach him to iron. After he set up the ironing board, it became my turn to produce the unexpected. I said I would begin the lesson by showing him how to iron cotton slacks. At first he looked at me with amusement. This quickly changed to genuine disbelief as I started steaming a crease into one leg of the trousers.

That evening produced a wonderful opportunity for us to discuss such important issues as do-it-yourself projects, how things were done “pre-high-tech” and, probably most important, the roles society places on us.

“Where and why did you learn to iron?” my son asked.

I replied: “During my freshman year at college – in order to save money.” He seemed still more shocked when I told him I could sew on buttons and darn a hole in a sock. But he knew where my weakness lies. He quickly pointed out that this domestic side of his father excluded the ability to prepare much in the way of food.

The discussion continued, with the main focus being the pointlessness of stereotyping.

During the last several decades, many strides have been made to widen the acceptable scope of activities performed by males and females. We talked about how strange it seemed when men became operators for the telephone company. In the same vein, I told him of my double take the firs time I saw a woman climbing a telephone pole to repair the line.

The freedom men and women in our society now have to pursue any vocation they choose has been shown to produce a healthier self-concept. This is especially true for females, who were expected to conform to a narrow spectrum of activities only a few decades ago.

Knowing my young daughter can pursue any career from astronaut to zebra trainer, I can encourage her to visualize herself in many situations without hearing, “Oh Dad, girls can’t do that.” The not-so-ancient belief that girls could do only certain things in life created an early mind-set or a way of looking at life that was limiting, rigid and confining. Starting out with this outlook in life led naturally, in many cases, to feelings of inadequacy and incompetence. Fortunately, much of this is changing. Today, individuals, male or female, have the chance to dream their dreams of the future, unbridled by the constraints of what other people think they should pursue based on their gender.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 1986