Talk to kids early about teen pregnancy
It is gratifying to see recent media reports that indicate teen pregnancy may be declining. A variety of things may account for this, but I feel that communication between teen-agers and their parents on issues of sexuality may be improving.
Unfortunately, many families feel the same about teen-age pregnancy as they do about chemical abuse or teen suicides. “It won’t happen to my child because they were raised differently.” Such statements of denial are not the answer. Statistics show that this problem happens in families of all social, religious, economic and cultural backgrounds.
Because the problem is so complex, it should be dealt with over a period of years, progressing through the development stages of boys and girls. Information about human growth and development, the life cycle and human sexuality can be presented in ways that are appropriate for the various stages of psychological growth and understanding of a child and adolescent. These biological and psychological facts will contribute to good physical and mental health.
Parents who wait until their child reaches puberty may find themselves trying to save a sinking ship when there is already a big hole in the bottom.
Parents can begin by talking with their children about why social interaction with members of the opposite sex is part of the normal healthy cycle of dating and eventually mating. Emphasize that not all societies allow teen-age dating, that in some cultures parents arrange marriage for their children. The young couple has little chance to get to know each other outside of the watchful eye of chaperons.
Parents in our culture and society believe that one of the key functions of teen-age dating is to understand different personality types, to find someone you are comfortable with, to crystallize interest patterns and discover compatibility.
Since adolescence is a stressful and awkward time, with physical development and self-confidence still in the developmental stages, learning to communicate effectively seems like a monumental task to many young people. Helping and encouraging them to learn communication skills with members of the opposite sex is important.
Once teen-agers become involved sexually, all thoughts of getting to know the opposite sex are directed toward only one end, that of sexual gratification. Verbal skills are forgotten as the relationship become primarily physical. Each meeting is dedicated to the question of how quickly they can get away, be alone and become physically involved. Interpersonal growth and development become nonexistent.
Sex is a powerful biological process that can take over a relationship. Sadly, it causes adolescents to skip over an important stage of human growth and development. Next week I will discuss ways teenagers can deal with this potentially difficult time of development.
Copyright c 1998 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.
