Ways to handle ‘know-it-alls’ vary

Coping with difficult people and the problems they create, especially in organizations or businesses, can be frustrating. Last week I discussed two types outlined by Dr. Robert Bramson. There are others we associate with daily. Take, for instance, the Know-It-All.

Basically, there are two types of know-it-alls. One is the individual who thinks he knows it all – but actually knows very little. The second type is the know-it-all who does, in fact, know a great deal about the subject being dealt with. You have to cope with each type differently.

If you are dealing with a know-it-all who knows little or nothing, you soon learn to separate any information given you by this individual, thereby developing a means for assessing the validity and reliability of his input.

This know-it-all may possess a deficient ego and will attempt to use authoritative statements to bolster a poor self-concept. A compassionate understanding goes a long way in coping with the know-it-all who knows little. Listening and letting him know you appreciate his comments may be helpful. You, of course, keep in mind the source of information.

The other know-it-all requires a different strategy. If you intend to refute or question this individual, be prepared to do your homework. Actually, the know-it-all can be a valuable asset to your organization. He is usually ambitious and wants to carve a niche for himself. Your role will be to guide him into an area where he can be an authority that will be a strength for your group.

Another common type found within most groups, clubs and businesses was labeled by Dr. Bramson as the Sniper. These people are said to “hide rocks in snowballs.” Their undermining techniques include barbs and humorously phrased criticisms and innuendos.

If you enter a meeting a few minutes late, a sniper may sarcastically remark, “Glad to see you could grace us with your presence.” Such remarks may get a loud laugh at your expense.

Since snipers don’t like confrontation, especially in a group, your coping strategy could be, “I hope my being a few minutes late didn’t inconvenience anyone else except…,” and here your name the sniper. Confrontation usually makes the sniper cross you off his list of people to snipe at. Never give in to the sniper’s accusation. Seek other points of view and establish a problem-solving meeting. Remember that snipers want to make their victims look bad. In so doing, they will feel in control and affirm that their view is the right one.

In contrast to the sniper, there is the People Pleaser. These people can’t say “no” and will take on any and all things asked of them, thereby becoming overloaded and missing deadlines.

People pleasers can be responsive to coaching to help them see that their effectiveness within the organization can be increased by setting realistic goals.

There are other types of difficult people and often discussing them and finding down-to-earth ways of coping with them, not trying to change them, may make our lives a little happier. I will continue talking about several other types in future columns.

Copyright c 1990 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.