What Do You Mean I Need Help?

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

Over the years in my career as a minister, I have observed some people refuse help from mental health professionals for a variety of reasons. I have often witnessed the useless and unneeded struggle experienced by those needing professional help and, at times in my lengthy career, I have seen tragedy occur because of refusal to seek assistance.

Clergy know of the strength that faith in one’s religious beliefs can bring to those seeking help in dealing with life’s struggles, but they also know that, at times, the assistance of health care professionals is needed.

Please discuss the reasons for people’s resistance to getting help and how this resistance can be lowered.

-A minister in Ohio

Dear Minister:

Your observations and request are certainly accurate and needed.
Many people experiencing problems with a mental health component neglect to seek help because they are in denial. For example, they might think:

• “I am not an alcoholic because I only drink after work.”

• “I‘m not depressed because I’m not thinking about suicide.”

• “My phobias are not a problem because I’ve kept them a secret.”

Rationalization keeps others from seeking help. For instance, they might think:

• “Anybody who had my job would be miserable, so why shouldn’t I be depressed?”

• “Our marriage will be better when our kids are grown and gone.”

• “I worry all the time about something but it is because the world is so crazy.”

Still others fear a loss of control if they get professional help. They may produce their own roadblocks by thinking such thoughts as:

• “Getting help may make me change things I don’t want to give up.”

• “I have enough problems as it is without someone I don’t even know playing with my mind.”

• “I don’t want to become dependent on someone else to solve my problems.”

Getting past the resistance to seeking help requires such tools as education, self-examination, introspection, self-confrontation and reality testing.
Unfortunately, many people need a traumatic situation such as illness, incarceration, accident or threat of divorce, to overcome the inertia of stalled behavior.

Insight and the awareness that a person needs help and a willingness to ask for aid are some of life’s greatest gifts. Often it takes several attempts for ministers, friends, physicians, employers and family members to break down this wall of resistance and help people take the first big step toward possible recovery.