If You Had Three Wishes That Could Change Your Life What Would They Be?

Mental health counselors use a variety of techniques to help an individual understand and gain insight into his problems. The person in distress may have the ability to accurately label his emotions and state such things as, "I'm depressed, angry, anxious, or unhappy." Being able to label feelings, however, is not the same as understanding the basis for these feelings.

One technique that I have found useful through the years in helping an individual understand the basis for his psychological distress is to ask him the question, "If suddenly you were given three wishes that could change your life and make you happy, what would they be?"

I explain that I am not looking for wishes such as winning the lottery or escaping to a desert island, but instead, want him to tell me what changes could occur within the realm of plausibility which would positively impact his current situation. The responses are varied and useful as a starting point in helping him gain a healthier mental perspective. Responses that I have noted over the years include:

• The expression of a desire to develop and maintain meaningful relationships. "I need someone to make me feel special," or, "I would like to have some friends that would be there to help me overcome my loneliness."

• Others state that they would like to have financial stability. "I would like to have a good job and be able to support myself and my family."

• One of the most frequent wishes involves a change in health status, such as, "I wish that I could have more energy, lose weight, feel better, or sleep better."

• Many people state that they would like to feel better about themselves. "I wish that I could feel okay about who I am and what I am doing in life," or, "I wish I had more self-respect and believed in myself."

• Another frequently voiced desire involves the person's wish to find peace and freedom from constant worry. These individuals often state such things such as, "I just wish that I knew how to relax and not let every little thing upset me," or,” I just wish I could go through most days not feeling like everything that could go wrong will go wrong."

If you feel that there are areas of your life that need improvement, perhaps this technique can help you gain insight into what you may do to change and improve certain situations.