Why Some Girls Love Bad Boys

He thought nothing of arriving an hour late to pick her up for the party. His excuse was that he was with his guy friends shooting a little hoops and having a few cold ones. The last part of his excuse was pretty obvious from his slurred speech and unsteady swagger. And, as usual, his liberal use of four letter words and angry tone let her know that he didn’t want to be questioned about his lack of promptness.

The way he came on to her roommate when she was talking to other friends later in the evening was also par for the course. Then, with absolutely no remorse, he suggested that he take her home early so that he could join his buddies for an after hours party. She knew that he would not call for several days but she would wait for his call with forgiving anticipation.

Mental health professionals and others have written about why some women are swept off their feet and fall in love with bad boys.

• One of the most frequent explanations is that some women simply like to be mistreated. This theory places the woman in the role of the self-punishing masochist.

• Another explanation portrays the woman as believing that she does not deserve anyone better than the “lov’em, leave’em” men in their lives. These individuals are seen as possessing low self-esteem and chronically undervaluing themselves, especially when it comes to men.

• Another popular explanation for women who are attracted to “naughty-ish” men is reserved for women who are “fixer-uppers.” These women are said to love the challenge of men who need personality “makeovers.” These feminine super nurturers can’t seem to avoid being drawn to men that need to be rescued.

• There are other possible explanations including the scenario that portrays the woman who loves bad boys as someone who loves the adventure and excitement of living on the edge in their younger years with an underlying agenda of settling down with a nice guy when they are ready to settle down.

If being drawn to bad boys creates a problem for you then you might need to consider the changing the way you look at men and relationships.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2003