Accept aging as a state of mind

Growing old gracefully is a subject that many people commit themselves to at a younger age only to gradually let these good intentions dwindle as they get older.

Mary is in her late sixties. During an earlier part of her life she spent a great deal of time taking care of an elderly aunt. The aunt constantly complained about health problems, demanded much of Mary’s time, and seemed to wear her feelings on her sleeves all the time. Mary swore that she would never do this when she got older, but now that she has reached the later years in her life she has forgotten this part of her aunt’s behavior.


Mary seems to worry about everything from finances to World War III. She wants to be around her children and grandchildren, but when she is, she finds that the grandchildren make her nervous. Her interest in friends and social activities has diminished to the point that most of her time is spent at home alone.

Mary doesn’t realize it, but much of the communication with the few friends she has, centers around discussions of her aches, pains, and fears for her health. Her discussions of poor health seem to be her favorite topic, and quite a bit of her income is spent going to various physicians.

Her lack of interest in outside activities and hobbies leaves her time to sit in front of the television and doze, consequently producing a very poor quality of sleep at night.

Mary had once been a competent and capable school teacher, but she has been away from the classroom so long that she no longer feels able to lend her vast store of knowledge to younger educators or children. Her world seems to have closed in around her to the point where there just isn’t much left. She has even considered the prospect of leaving this world by her own hands.

Mary’s plight is very familiar to many senior citizens. But it has only been in recent years that any real interest has been shown in the aging process and learning to cope with one’s later years.

I have seen people in their fifties who consider themselves to have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. At the same time, I have seen those in their nineties who talk of the future as though they were in their middle years.

I once knew a rancher in West Texas who got up at dawn each day, worked his ranch along with all of his younger employees and came home at night talking about what he wanted to accomplish the next day. During the times that I was with this man I never once heard him complain of his health, although I was told that he had a very painful form of arthritis. He would only rarely admit to this. He certainly had interesting stories about his past, but he preferred to spend his time talking about what he wanted to accomplish in the future. His credo in life seemed to be, “If I have a problem, I’ll try to do something about it. If I can’t, I’ll put it on the back burner and move on to something that I can do something about.”

Another friend, a nurse, is on her third career, and that career came after having successfully completed her first two jobs. In her eighties, she still works circles around her colleagues, leaving most people flabbergasted at the seemingly endless amount of energy and stamina that she possesses. The twinkle in her eye tells you that she is full of enthusiasm for life, and has the constant desire to help others.

Certainly those people are exceptional, and they differ from Mary in that they accept age as a state of mind and not of body. They live for today and look optimistically toward tomorrow. They have grown old gracefully, looking and acting young.

Next week, we will continue our talk about aging and give you some pointers on ways you can grow old gracefully and make your later years happier and more productive.