Are You Ready To Tie The Knot?
Dear Dr. LeCrone:
My fiancé and I have been engaged for three years, during which time our relationship and love for each other have become very strong. He has wanted to get married for quite some time and is now pushing for a yes or no from me.
In spite of my love for him, I can’t decide whether I want to marry him. In other areas of my life, such as my career, my choice of friends, and elements of my lifestyle, I have no problems making decisions. But I find that I cannot decide whether I want to take our relationship to the next level at this time.
Family and friends are urging me to seek professional counseling to help me make my decision. Do you think that this might help and do you have any additional suggestions? — A Reader
Dear Reader:
First of all, let me applaud you for not making your decision on impulse or pressure from other people. The consequence of tying the knot is one of life’s major choices.
The following ideas might be helpful:
* Try keeping a journal of your thoughts and feelings. Write in the journal each day, letting your thoughts flow freely and unimpeded by outside distractions or opinions of other people.
Several things can be accomplished by journaling. It will crystallize and solidify these feelings and thoughts and allow you to look back at your feelings. Often, if you examine these entries over several weeks or months, your decision will become clearer.
* Get away from your work for some long, uninterrupted weekends by yourself. Go to a location where you can spend time thinking. Take long walks, enjoy the sunset, and meditate and or pray. Let your inner dialogue help you decide about your future.
* Professional counseling is a sound consideration that can help you sort out the “pros and cons” of this relationship as well as help you define your priorities. Joint counseling with your fiancé also may may help both of you look more closely at the future of your relationship.
The fact that you are having a difficult time making a decision, especially if you generally don’t have problems making decisions, may be telling you something in and of itself.
Are you really ready for marital commitment at this time?
