Bad assumptions lead to more problems

One form of counseling and psychotherapy assumes, among other factors, that an individual’s psychological difficulties stem to a large degree from faulty thinking patterns.

Individuals with a pattern of distorted thinking view the world with many irrational and illogical beliefs and assumptions. Faulty thinking affects many individuals. In fact, most of us suffer from these difficulties at times. Bright, intelligent people often fall prey to faulty thinking, dispelling the myth that smart people don’t’ perceive things in an unhealthy manner. Men and women both experience fallacious thinking, as do all ethnic and age groups.

So, we can never say that anyone probably thinking rationally at all times and during all circumstances in life. In fact, under stress, distorted thinking tends to increase, often making the stress even worse. Uninterrupted, distorted thinking tends to escalate and can form the boundaries and parameters of one’s thought processes. Lacking the objectivity that we need to see ourselves in a healthy manner, we often go through life letting these patterns of thinking persist. As a result, we are very unhappy.

Individuals with faulty or distorted thinking patterns have several common beliefs and assumptions which include:

• Overgeneralization – “I never do anything right. Nobody likes me. I will never be successful. Things will always go wrong for me.” These examples of distorted and faulty thinking could become a self-fulfilling prophecy if repeated long enough. In talking with couples, I often hear statements like: “He never listens. She is never affectionate.” I even hear, “We have never loved each other.” Parents may state about their children, “They are always messy. They never do well in school.” Viewed realistically, it is the always, the never, and the nobody that gets us into trouble in our thinking.

• Mind reading – When a person chronically leaps to conclusions about what others may be thinking, usually about them, they frequently assume the worst and this causes uncomfortable feelings, unhappy thoughts and difficulties in coping. For example: John thinks because he didn’t get a raise that his boss doesn’t think he is capable and deserving of more. John then begins to question his ability. Actually, john didn’t get a raise because the budget didn’t permit. Sue thought that Mary cancelled a social engagement because she found something that she was more interested in doing. In fact, Mary had to take her elderly relative to the doctor and run some errands for her. A young man that I talked with recently said that he was simply embarrassed to tell the girl that he didn’t have enough money to follow through with the date he asked her for. She however, may have assumed falsely that he didn’t like her.

Changing these patterns of thinking is not easy, but is certainly possible. Developing an awareness of their presence in one’s thinking must come first. Then, challenging, refuting and reframing the underlying beliefs and assumptions through practice can occur.

Copyright c 1991 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.