Best gifts come in no packages at all

It is Christmas Day 1994.

There are presents under the tree that may not be wrapped in tinsel and colored papers or tied with bright shiny bows. But they are there, awaiting opening by those who have struggled with some kind of adversity, a sadness, or a new direction in the past year. Let’s open them and see what’s inside:


The gift of improved physical health. Being in good physical condition can be a priceless gift. Feeling good or much better is a condition many take for granted.

The gift of improved mental health. Depression and/or anxiety can cause you to feel hopelessness, helpless and out of control. Achieving insight into the cause of your problems and becoming motivated to change what is possible and necessary to change can give you the gift of restored balance and the ability to cope and adjust in your life. They can give you the psychological tolls to experience the joy and happiness that others feels, and the ability to “roll with the punches” and the inevitable down times that occur in all our lives.

The gift of recovery from loss. Moving through the stages of grief and loss – be it the loss of a special person to death or divorce or the loss of a job or a career – can culminate in resolution and acceptance. By moving ahead with your life, you can experience the gift of renewed optimism and excitement. Feeling that the worst is behind you can be a priceless gift.

The gift of sobriety – awakening on Christmas morning clearheaded, free from the chemical fog accompanying alcohol and drug abuse, clean, sober and in recovery. The powerful craving and dependency associated with alcohol and drugs can be controlled with persistent effort. Restoration of self-respect and confidence are coupled with relationships on the mend.

The gift of healthy marriage. The gifts spouses can give each other this Christmas are love, mutual respect, trust, understanding and improved communication. The efforts each has put forth in improving the relationship must continue, because reverting to the unhealthy priorities, taking each other for granted, or a relapse into immature and self-centered behavior can cause the relationship to collapse.

The gift of self-acceptance. Perhaps the greatest gift of all for many this Christmas will be the gift of self-acceptance. As one person recently told me, “I ain’t much, but I’m all I got – and really, I ain’t half bad.” Many struggle all their lives and are never able to make this giant leap. They are kept down by years of exposure to conditional love, negative communication patterns, abuse, neglect and other unhealthy environments. Others break through their past and find the original self and soul with which they came into this world. After peeling away the unhealthy layers, they start building their self-esteem with self-acceptance at the core.

Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season to all.

Copyright c 1994 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.