Children are under stress, just like adults

Adults live in a stressful world. With deadlines to meet, responsibilities to fulfill and meetings to attend, many adults complain of living in a harried world. We have accepted the association of stress and adulthood.

But an often overlooked victim of stress is the child. School activities may pile up on a youngster. Family conflict, sibling rivalry, and economic disadvantage, may be more than a child can cope with. Planned leisure time activities may not always reduce stress. For instance, participation in organized sports activities and the competition therein, or a two-week vacation and the change of routine are potentially stressful to some children.

Several common reactions to stress may be seen in a child’s behavior.

A change from a normal behavior pattern. A child under stress may change from a mild-mannered, easy-going youngster to one who is crabby and argumentative. Or, a child who has never been prone to fighting with others may suddenly become an aggressive child who bullies others.

Some stressed children may show signs of withdrawal. A youngster who previously displayed a healthy level of interaction with others may passively refuse to participate in everyday activities. For example, he or she may continually rest his or her head on the desk at school and choose not to participate or complete assignments.

Also at school, good grades may change quickly to bad grades, and information from teachers may note that the child’s school performance and/or behavior is not as acceptable as it has been in the past.

Headaches and stomachaches may be signals of psychological distress and indicate the need for professional evaluation. Changes in patterns of eating, sleeping or lack of interest in favorite pastimes may also signal the onset of stress in the child’s life.

Some suggestions that may be helpful in dealing with a child under stress are:

• Examine the family lifestyle to see if there is a pattern of over commitment that is causing the child to be overly stimulated and involved in too many activities.
• Examine the family situation to see if there is a pattern of negative and poor communication which shows up in lots of yelling and fighting between family members.
• Examine the type of communication between parents and child and see if there is great deal of negative communication. If so, alter this and emphasize a great deal of positive communication.
• A child’s own apparent self-imposed need for perfection may need to be evaluated as a source of stress.

I will return to this important topic again in future columns.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2000