Get yourself on track with some positive thinking

Being disappointed about one’s success or achievement is often the result of a faulty perception. Maybe we can’t win the Masters golf tournament or write a best selling novel but there are other avenues we can pursue to experience a feeling of accomplishment.

We don’t give ourselves little pats on the back if we don’t reach the pinnacle of our dreams. And constant self-criticism and lack of enjoyment of daily tasks can erode self-esteem and lead to depression.

I often hear clients say, “But I didn’t even come close to what I wanted to do,” or “That was nothing, anybody could have done that.”

Often these perceptions are the result of a lifetime of telling one’s self or being told by our parents or others that what we did was less than what was expected of us. When you brought home a B or a C in a subject that had required extra preparation on your part and you were told “Well if you had tried a little harder you could have made an A.” Or, “I should have known that was the best I could do.”

Attainment of realistic goals may not present the greatest challenge, but that attainment improves self esteem and keeps our spirits afloat.

Here are some faulty perceptions to avoid.

• Trying for perfection. If I can’t be number one, I won’t be satisfied.

• Minimizing your talents. I’m not as capable as he is; I shouldn’t even try.

• Imagining the worst scenario. I would be ridiculed and embarrassed if I did poorly.

• Stressing the negative. Oh, I won’t be able to contribute much.

• Focusing on feelings. I feel like a loser.

• Preconceived ideas. I know I am stupid in many ways.

Setting realistic goals and changing the thoughts that go with them may promote a little more happiness.

Try saying:

• I’ll enjoy doing this even if I don’t reach the top.

• This could be rewarding.

• Who knows. Maybe I can do it.

• Even if I make a mistake, I’ll learn from it.

• In life’s games, there are some winners and some losers. I can expect some of both.

• I am a unique person. I have talents no one else can imitate.

Each time you have a negative thought, turn it around and change it into a positive thought. Enjoy the daily rush of emotions you will experience as your self-esteem rises and your tendency toward depression diminishes.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright 2002