Gossip and Rumors

Dear Dr. LeCrone: Can you discuss the make-up of individuals who thrive on tearing down other people with gossip and rumors?

Dear Reader:
Most of us are guilty of gossiping and passing on rumors at times, but we also can distinguish between speculation or shared thinking, and malignant, wanton desire to harm or injure others with toxic gossip and malignant rumors.

Some individuals thrive on gossip and rumors because it enhances their sense of importance to be the “first to know” and to be on the “inside of everything”. They elevate themselves to the status of gatekeeper of information and enjoy having others ask them what they have heard that is new. Unfortunately, for many of these individuals the quest for sensation, originality and being first to know, may lead to strong tendencies to exaggerate, embellish, and even blatantly distort information. These tendencies can reach “flight from reality” proportions. Such people can come to believe their own stories.

Rumors and gossip may also start among individuals desiring to influence the course of events. Many of us have heard accounts of rumors that have had their beginnings in an attempt to cause the run-up of sell-off of some stock or commodity, thus giving the instigator of the rumor the opportunity to benefit. At times, rumors and gossip are an attempt to damage someone else’s reputation or chance for advancement. If traced to its source, these fabrications reveal a manipulative individual with a desire to influence the course of history or satisfy greedy decisions.

Still another individual who seems to thrive on rumor, speculation, and innuendo is one lacking in stimulation and rewarding activities in his own life. Hearing of sadness and shortcomings in others somehow makes such people feel secure in their own existence, void though it is of risks and excitement. These individuals look for confirmation of their need to stay within rigid, inflexible boundaries in life, ones which permit them little latitude in thinking and behavior. Hearing misfortunes confirms their belief that they need to be cautious and not rock the boat in their own lives. These individuals expand their lives vicariously by living through the rumors and gossip that they hear. Their imaginations become their experience. They are often the prime targets, recipients, and perpetrators of those who thrive on gossip and rumors.

Remember that gossip and rumors can often have a boomerang effect and come back to haunt the perpetrator.

Copyright © 2005 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D