Helping Newlyweds Prepare For A Healthy, Happy Marriage

Many couples who are preparing to tie the knot often spend hours and a great deal of money on preparations for marriage. Sometimes the wedding plans don’t include discussing the things that will truly make a difference after the marriage. As a consequence, many relationships are built upon somewhat shaky foundations.

Let me offer a few suggestions for newlyweds that may help as the reality of sharing, caring, and the need for compromise begins to set in:
If you come into the marriage with unhappiness stemming from your past experiences, avoid expecting your new spouse to correct these feelings to make you happy. Don’t expect your partner to bear all of your emotional baggage. Managing your own negative emotions is essential to the well-being of the marriage.

Avoid the trap of assuming that you always know what your partner thinks, believes and feels about disagreements that arise after marriage. Believing that you can read your spouse’s mind can lead to all sorts of problems. Serious communications problems can develop when false assumptions are made and a person jumps to conclusions without the facts.

Try to listen more than you talk. When your spouse is talking don’t interrupt. Actively listen by making eye contact and avoid activities that will interrupt the conversation. Checking your e-mail, texting, watching television or letting other distractions occur while someone is talking to you does not reflect much care or respect.

Examine carefully your own self-centered needs for power and control in the relationship. Taking the position that “It’s my way or the highway” can drive a wedge into the relationship. Treat your spouse like you would a best friend where regard for his or her feelings is given the highest consideration.

Retain the trust that is usually found in a new relationship by avoiding anything that will give your spouse a reason not to trust you. Honestly and integrity are two of the essential elements of any good relationship, especially in a marriage.

Express preferences rather than demands when asking your spouse for something. Additionally, be aware of the number of requests that you make upon your partner. Too many demands can begin to make the husband or wife begin to feel like a beast of burden.

These are just a few of the many things that newlyweds need to strive for in a new relationship. Being able to express your feelings openly and caringly is a cornerstone in all healthy marriages.