How to Achieve Positive Communication Between Older Adult and Their Children

Coping with the stressors associated with the changes experienced by aging parents can be a difficult for many younger family members.

It is important for children of aging parents to remember that older adults are experiencing adjustments not only physically but also psychologically.

For example, seniors often grapple with changes in long-established routines after retirements, changes in relationships because of poor health or death of friends and family, and, perhaps, changes in their own health or finances.

An older parent often must depend more on care from their adult children, and that can cause the senior to feel frustration, sadness, guilt and helplessness.

Some seniors and their adult children anxiously ask themselves “who is the parent and who is the child? “

But, there are ways to open the door to healthy communication between the older adult and their children around these issues.

When talking with aging parents about finances, health, living arrangements, and other changes, avoid controlling messages and condescending statements such as “ you can’t handle your money anymore so we will have to take over your finances, or “you are simply too old to live by yourself.”

Empower seniors

Instead, empower the older parent to participate in decisions about their future.

Forcing, coercing, or manipulating them can lead to significant problems among family members.

Try to plan ahead for conversations and avoid bringing up difficult and stressful topics during large family gatherings.

Give aging parents the opportunity to express feelings and share emotions. Listen attentively and consider tackling only one issue at a time rather than attempting to solve multiple problems in one conversation.

Think of these issues as a “team effort” and make sure that aging parents play a considerable role in the decision making process.

Talk with siblings and other family members about their concerns and share these in a respectful and caring way with the parent.

Adult children should be careful to not make assumptions about what changes their parents want.

Keep in mind that aging parents have had a lifetime of making decisions on their own and adult children need to be sensitive and tactful when offering suggestions and assistance.