I Don’t Want To Be Called A Name I Hate By The Ones I Love

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

One of the things that bothers me about grandparenthood is the name my grandchildren will call me.

Being called Granny, Mamaw or Gramaw all make me shutter as I associate these names with being old. Instead, I think I would prefer something that seems age neutral or simply have my grandchildren call me by my first name. I don’t want to be called a name I hate by the ones I love.

Do you have any suggestions on steering your grandchildren toward a name that you like?

Dear Reader:

I will not attempt to address the issue of how you feel about aging but stick to naming.

The name given to you by your first grandchild is most often the name that will be used by all of your grandchildren. Therefore, if what you’re called by your grandchildren is really important to you, perhaps, you can develop a strategy to influence this process of choosing a name.

Grandparents often wait until the first grandchild names them. This may be a child’s interpretation of their grandparents’ names which may end up being Tom-Tom for Tom or Sue-Sue for Susan. My first grandchild chose to expand my nickname Hap to Happy which suited me fine.

Other combinations may include the grandparent’s first name combined with the word mama or daddy such as Mama Lou, or Daddy Jack.

I have heard of situations where the grandparent did want to be called a certain name and encouraged the child to call them by another name.

Sometimes this is easier said than done and getting into a power struggle with your grandchild should be avoided.

In some cases, I have heard of the child’s parents encouraging their child to call the grandparent a certain name. This needs to be carefully coordinated between the grandparent and the parents in order to avoid misunderstandings.

An excellent book that may assist you in your effort to learn more about grandchildren naming their grandmothers is entitled “Grandmother by another name: Enduring stories about what we call our grandmothers,” by Carolyn J. Booth and Mindy B. Henderson.

This book talks about why children pick the names they do when naming their grandmothers. It’s a collection of touching and inspirational stories about how the special names of grandmothers came into being. It also offers a list of top 10 grandmother names.