I Need A Scapegoat - It’s Not My Fault

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

One of the employees that I supervise has a problem that not only interferes with his job performance but also does damage to the morale of his co-workers. He never takes responsibility for his mistakes but, excuses himself by looking for a scapegoat or claiming that he was the victim of unfortunate or unavoidable circumstances. Please write about this problem.

-A reader in Colorado

Dear reader:

The blame syndrome is often comes in two forms. The first is the tendency to blame other people for outcomes that do not please the individual. An example would be blaming his boss or spouse for his unhappiness and shortcomings. The second form is the tendency to blame situations and conditions, such as the shortcomings of others or the poor economy as the causes of his difficulties.

In both cases, the blamer often fails to take responsibility for his own actions. Certainly, there are situations where other people or conditions may contribute to an unsatisfactory outcome, but this is perceived by the blamer as being the only reason for his difficulties.

The blamer should begin to ask himself if he could have contributed to or was in some way responsible for the undesirable outcome. Accurate feedback from others, if accepted by the blamer, can help him view his problem more objectively.

After admitting that he has a problem, the blamer should begin to focus on asking himself questions such as: "What can I learn from this negative outcome, and how can I reduce the likelihood that the same result will occur in the future?"
Sometimes sitting down with a notepad and listing the elements of the situation can encourage the person to take ownership of his problem by seeing the problem and facing reality.

There are many things that can underlie the blamer’s problems, so if denial and rationalization persist, he may need professional counseling.

Another kind of blame problem is when a person that accepts the blame for everything. He feels that everything that goes wrong is his fault.

Both the chronic blamer as well as the chronic acceptor of underserved blame often suffers from poor self-esteem. I will address the acceptor’s problem in a future column.