Introverts, Extroverts View the World Differently

The couple rode silently to the awards banquet, each deep in thought. As Parents of the Year, both individuals were flattered and honored to be recipients.

However, their feelings about accepting the award in front of a large crowd were very different. He felt nervous and edgy, dreading the thought of ascending the podium and making a brief speech. His wife, on the other hand, looked forward to the event and the evening ahead.

He mentally calculated the length of time the event would last. He looked forward to returning home and resuming the book he was reading.

She, on the other hand, looked forward to mixing with the other individuals at the banquet and gave no thought to how long they would remain.

This difference in the way each perceived the evening ahead characterized how they felt about interacting with others.

She enjoyed and drew energy from talking and interacting with others; he often felt uncomfortable and de-energized in the presence of people, especially those he didn’t know well.

His work required mostly one-to-one interaction, which he didn’t seem to mind, but he often felt drained after a social gathering.

So he avoided, when given the choice, these types of group interactions. When meeting someone new, especially in social situations, he appeared to be shy and withdrawn and was often perceived by others to be aloof and even arrogant.

Fortunately, his wife carried the ball for them, keeping the conversation going with grace and ease. Far from being a social butterfly, she simply enjoyed meeting new people and contributed to appropriately to the conversations in which she was engaged.

At the end of a long workday he frequently felt the need to be by himself for a half-hour or longer. During this time he processed the events of the day and turned to an inner world of thought.

His wife, on the other hand, processed her thoughts by talking to someone else and was able to better assign meaning to the events of the day through this verbal process.

Over the years of their marriage they had grown to accept, for the most part, their basic difference in communication styles.

Their friends also understood these differences. Although many people felt he was “difficult to read and get close to,” he nevertheless achieved acceptance by those who understood him.

Behavioral scientists studying personality types, communication styles and individual patterns recognize that both of these types of individuals can be effective and happy, especially if they are understood by those around them.

One group of researchers has found that extroverts, those who draw energy form being around other people, making up about 75 percent of the population. About 25 percent are more introverted and prefer solitude and inner directivity.

Psychometric instruments such as the Myers-Briggs Type indicator help identify these individuals and provide a basis for understanding the differences.

Understanding that differences exist can lead to acceptance and appreciation for the “different strokes for different folks” in our world.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1992