Perhaps the imposter is your better half

• A very successful attorney and partner in his firm, is sure he is not qualified for his profession. "I feel sure that the day will come when I will lose a big case in court and my whole career will begin to unravel. My colleagues, the judges, and the rest of my clients will all find out that I have been "winging it" much of the time. I never really feel prepared for my cases and instead fly by the seat of my pants most of the time. When people who don't know me ask what I do, I have a hard time looking them straight in the eyes and saying 'I am an attorney.'"

• A wife and mother of three keeps her house immaculately neat and clean. She is president of the PTA, teaches Sunday school at her church, and graduated near the top of her class in college. Although her husband and children tell her and do act as though they love her, she really has trouble believing this. Her many achievements bring accolades from her friends and family, but they ring hollow; seeming insincere, trite, and mechanical. She feels that no amount of praise can overcome the horrible reality, unknown to anyone but herself, that she is a fake and a fraud. For her, the worst part of this whole charade is that she feels that someday the truth about herself, that she knows she is incompetent, will be revealed.

• After being notified that she had been elected the Physician of the Year, the anxiety of this capable woman doctor rose to the point that she had to leave the room where her colleagues had gathered to congratulate her. Often driven to the point of exhaustion, she worked long hours and allowed herself no leisure time or relationships outside of work. She felt as though her admission to medical school, coveted residency and successful practice were all due to some series of complicated and difficult to explain mistakes. She was convinced that even her unrelenting work and attention to detail would fail her in the end as sooner or later she would make an error that would reveal the fact that she possessed only ordinary skills.

• Thunderous applause, sold out performances, and glowing remarks from the critics never filled the void that he felt as a conductor. While conducting the orchestra, he often felt like an actor playing a role. His recurring dreams were terrifying nightmares in which he found himself standing stark naked in front of the orchestra. During this same nightmare he arrives at the conservatory for his final examination but knows nothing about conducting as he quit attending classes long before graduation. He felt sure that this dream foretold what he felt was a masquerade as an accomplished maestro.

The psychological difficulty shared by these four individuals is known as the imposter phenomenon. Anxieties suffered by them stems from their secret belief that they have been over-estimated by those around them. Their perfectionism deters them from ever feeling that they are successful and worthy of recognition, that they have earned the acclaim and praise given them.

The imposter phenomena is genderless, striking successful people in any career or endeavor. These individuals fear exposure of a fraud they imagine they are perpetrating on others. The more success they feel, the greater the anxiety they experience. Their "drive" in an attempt to overcome this fear can create havoc in co-workers, friends, and family.

Various forms of therapy may be helpful in treating this problem. The first step, of course, is for the sufferer to recognize the problem and seek help. A sense of relief often occurs from simply knowing that many successful people are plagued by the imposter phenomena. The solution to an individual problem, although not simple, is obtainable with professional help.

Copyright c 1995 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.