Learning to Cope with Feelings of Anger

If you have trouble dealing with anger, the following checklist may help you.

Do the following situations apply to you?

I often feel I am about to explode due to many imperfections in my life.
I let things get on my nerves that didn’t used to bother me.
Co-workers, friends and relatives have noticed I seem edgy and irritable most of the time.
My children make me nervous and I am often impatient with them.
I frequently feel like a time bomb about to explode.
My ability to become relaxed and stay that way is limited.
I often suffer from headaches, backaches, or other physical problems that have no apparent medical cause.

Affirmative replies to several of the above statements may indicate you are having trouble dealing with anger.

Although quite common and appropriate at times, this emotion, when experienced with too much frequency, intensity and duration, can cause disruption in relationships, health problems, problems at work or in the family.

Unfortunately, angry people are often unobjective about the real causes of their anger. This often escalating emotion frequently becomes so pronounced that reasoning and judgment become impaired and loss of control results.

The so-called, “pressure-cooker syndrome,” where dissatisfaction builds up until the person finally explodes, is a pattern often seen by mental health professionals.

When another type of anger, the “short fuse syndrome,” the emotional response is disproportionate to the demands of the situation. Individuals with this syndrome seem to become angry over anything and their anger is unpredictable.

Still another type is the “slow-burner,” who may experience a deep-seated, seething rage that often is never expressed in a recognizable way. Instead it is displayed in subtle and difficult to detect ways, such as physically illness or depression. This inwardly turned anger can by destructive. In its most malignant forms, it can result in suicide.

Appropriate and healthy ways to handle anger can vary. For some people, “getting it out” is the recommendation. For others, turning the other cheek with little or no outward expression of emotion is recommended. Still another solution is to reinterpret the situation producing anger to elicit an emotional response that is healthy and less disruptive.

I believe the necessary steps to deal with anger include:

• Learning to correctly identify and label the emotion.

• Understanding the source of dissatisfaction. Correctly identifying the cause of anger is difficult. Objectivity is frequently difficult to obtain.

• Learning to deal with anger in an appropriate and healthy fashion. This often occurs after causes have been cited.

Professional assistance is frequently required and is helpful when anger is a problem. Since the causes may be deep-seated and complex, the emotion, if left untended, can be destructive. Denying the need for help is often shortsighted. I will return to this topic in future columns.

Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D. Copyright © 1992