Life’s truths sometimes easy to forget

Recently one of my mentors at the Waco Tribune-Herald published a series of observations regarding human behavior he received through email. I enjoyed these bits of humor and thought I might follow his lead and provide you with a group of “truths” relating to parenting, aging and life in general.

Like Rowland Nethaway at the Tribune-Herald, I do not have the author of these bits of wisdom but appreciate whoever created them for our enjoyment.

Great truths about life that little children have learned (and somehow we adults have missed):

No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
When your mother is bad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.
Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is Grandma’s lap.

Other observations on life:

Raising teen-agers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere…and let the air out of their tires.
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.
Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.
Today’s might oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
Life’s golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.
Eat a live toad first think in the morning and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.
Laughing helps. It’s like jogging on the inside.
One day I shall burst my buds of calm and blossom into hysteria.
If you can remain calm, you just don’t have all the facts.
You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

Copyright c 1998 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.