Managing Different Communication Styles In A Group Discussion

Dear Dr. LeCrone:

Recently I was asked to lead a group of people in a series of discussions at our church. My experience in this area was very limited, and I needed some help in understanding the variety of personalities and communication styles that I saw in this group. Can you offer me a place to start?

-A reader in Texas

Dear Reader.

During any given meeting, you may see:

The Orator: He loves to hear himself talk. Encouraging the Orator to stay within the boundaries of a written agenda may make it possible to confine this individual’s verbiage.

The Comedian: This individual may joke, make light of everything and interject humor so profusely that it is difficult to keep the group focused. A lack of approval from group members often decreases this behavior.

The Gladiator: A gladiators loves to fight and argue and frequently becomes the devil’s advocate. Let him know that his thoughts are appreciated, but that his opinion may not necessarily be agreed with. This may help keep the discussion on track.

The Super Agreeable: This individual never takes a stand, and his opinion is mercurial. His need for approval and fear of rejection makes it difficult to count on him at decision-making time. Urging this individual to form his own opinions can make him a more valuable part of the decision-making process.

The Analyst: He tends to steer the meeting toward dissecting every detail. First cousin to the Analyst is the Perfectionist, who tries to steer the meeting toward crossing every “T” by dotting every “I”. Urge him to consider the big picture so that he doesn’t get lost in minor details.

The Dictator: If he is not the chairman, he often aspires to be. He may associate leadership with control, and once in command he can become arbitrary and convinced that he has all the answers. Helping him feel that he is making an important contribution to the group without needing to be in control can make him a valuable group member.

Analyze your own behavior in these discussions and see if you can improve your performance as a group member by not settling into any of the above molds. Remember, we all exhibit some of these characteristics at times. By observing others in future discussions, you can improve communication by crediting them with contribution or redirecting their behavior.