Memorial Day
Memorial Day will be observed tomorrow with dignity and honor. On this day we pay tribute to the memory of American servicemen and women who have died in battle serving their country. As we recall memories associated with Memorial Day, we have the opportunity to think about our feelings and attitudes toward the subject of death.
We can all thank theologians, philosophers and other professionals like Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross for teaching us that death is an integral part of life. From the moment we are born we are on the journey to our final and inevitable death.
Dr. Kubler-Ross’s now famous five stages explaining the experience of dying patients include: denial, anger, “bargaining for time”, depression, and acceptance. The signal for the end of life is rarely pleasant; we usually want to postpone it and are often angry at the world and sometimes with our Maker for giving us this announcement. Often times, people have difficulty talking to someone who is dying. This is at least partially due to the fact that we have no way to understand their perspective and what they are experiencing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Another facet that we may need to ponder on this Memorial Day is the grieving process. When we lose a loved one, we need to grieve and mourn. During this time we may want to deny that death occurred. Bargaining for time may include prayerful promises,” don’t let him die and I will never be bad again.” We may be angry that he is gone and think that he was taken away too soon. We may also become depressed and stay in that stage for a very long time even though we are assisted and supported by family and friends. Finally, if the grieving process is to be complete, we must accept the fact that we have suffered a loss and proceed with our lives. Then, when the acceptance comes, we are faced with new opportunities and new beginnings. Our perspectives change. We see things differently. We choose to stop grieving and move ahead.
On this Memorial Day, as we honor those who have died before us, let us examine our own beliefs about the cycle of life and death. Each person’s perspective is shaped by many factors including our culture, religion, parental teaching and experience, but all of us must eventually face death and sort out our feelings in a healthy manner.
