More queries from young readers answered
Last week I answered letters from eighth-grade students who had written to me after reading a column about setting life goals and finding answers to day-to-day problems. Here are more letters from these young readers who want to live healthier, happier lives.
Dear Dr. LeCrone: My friend and I take a class together, and every time we have a project to do she just has to see mine first. She usually winds up doing the same thing I do. I wish she wouldn’t but I’m afraid if I say anything I might hurt her feelings. She is a good friend, but it bothers me that she can’t think of anything original. Do you have any advice that might help me ask her to stop? Signed: Friend of a Copy Cat.
Dear Friend: Your friend is doing an injustice to both of you when she copies your work. She detracts from your originality and runs the risk of developing too much dependency on others and a lack of self-confidence. Tell her that feelings must be set aside at this point and your friendship, if it does indeed have strength, will withstand this. You have to take the responsibility to talk to her about this problem.
Dear Dr. LeCrone: I sometimes have a problem with the people at my school. Some of them are nice, yet some are just terrible. I hate being around these obnoxious selfish teen-agers. I say to myself that I have a much more promising future than they do, though sometimes they make me feel like I am the biggest dork when I know I am not. How can I stop this? Signed: Miffed
Dear Miffed: Your problem falls into the category of “Such is life.” There is an old Latin phrase that roughly translates into, “Don’t let the jerks get you down.” Be grateful for nice people and try to ignore the obnoxious ones. You may want to organize a group that would respond to some community or school need. Does your school recycle? Do you tutor younger students? You could be a leader and some of these students may want to join you in your good work.
Dear Dr. LeCrone: A couple of years ago I and my best friend made a pact not to have sex before we were ready. It has been three years since then and she has moved away. We still keep in touch and she is my best friend, but recently she told me she had had sex. I felt betrayed. I don’t want to see her ruin her life. She is only 14 and she has her whole life in front of her. What should I say to her to convince her not to have sex again? Signed: Deeply Concerned.
Dear Concerned: Unfortunately, there is probably not much you can do to help her, but you can let this unfortunate experience strengthen your resolve to stick with your half of the bargain. Review with her your reasons for making the bargain – your maturity, health reasons, the dangers of AIDS, etc. Let her know that you care deeply for her and hope that she will reconsider her choices.
I wish to commend this fine group of students who are searching for healthy choices. I encourage them to keep seeking knowledge and understanding, especially of themselves.
Copyright c 1996 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.
