Passive aggressives often feel ‘entitled’

Jerry owned a small manufacturing company. Because of its small size and limited financial resources, he functioned as the owner, office manager and, at times, worked on the small assembly line with his employees.

Jerry began to notice that on certain crucial days some of the equipment seemed to malfunction with a greater frequency than on non-critical days. He also began to get letters of complaint from some of his best customers regarding the small but significant damages they detected in products delivered to them.

Just when Jerry seemed to get ahead with his small company, a set of circumstances seemed to occur to prevent success.

He became so frustrated that he began to develop headaches and sleep problems. His wife noticed a definite pattern. He took her advice and asked all the employees for help in overcoming the difficulties.

Even though they all agreed to help, nothing was accomplished until an employee mentioned that one employee was intentionally but subtly abusing equipment by running it too fast, not oiling it properly or leaving it on until it got too hot and ceased to function.

Jerry found employee records that showed this same employee turned out defective products more frequently than any other member of the shop crew. Instead of removing the defective product from the finished product inventory, he passed it on and it was shipped to customers.

After Jerry noticed his weak link in quality control, he called the employee in and asked for an explanation. After vehemently denying the allegations, the employee became offended and quit.

After that business problems smoothed out for Jerry.

Sometime later, Jerry learned he had been dealing with a passive aggressive personality. His employee had chosen indirect hostility instead of a direct manner of expressing his dissatisfaction.

Passive aggressive people are self-centered and often feel “entitled.” Afraid of direct conflict, they instead use aggressive tactics and indirect methods and hope no one will catch them.

They tend to have little understanding or compassion for the feelings of other people. If their indirect maneuvers produce the desired effect of unhappiness in someone else’s life, they see this as the other person’s problems.

The passive aggressive personality can be one of the most frustrating to work for or with. It is the source of many unhappy marriages and other relations.

Remember, the passive aggressive individual can be nice, easy to get along with, and is seemingly no problem as long as he is getting his own way.

Learning to spot this personality type and deal with the person easier. A good clue is to look for a frustrating situation that seems to have something to do with people.

Next week, I will discuss other examples of passive aggressive maneuvers and ways of dealing with this problem.

Copyright c 1996 Harold H. LeCrone, Jr., Ph.D.